I Prayed to You
by SophieStoryTime
Summary: Castiel is in Purgatory and Dean prays to him every night. He tells Cas all his most personal secrets, including his true feelings.


Castiel was gone. It had been a couple of weeks now. Dean was finding it hard, _impossible _to move on. He shouted at everyone and punished himself for every little mistake he made. He had not slept or eaten a full meal since Cas left. Friends and family had desperately tried to help him but he had pushed them all away.

Dean paid the money and entered the motel room. He had managed to escape from everyone at last. He shut the door before collapsing against it. The tears rolled freely down Dean's face and for once, he didn't care.

"Please…please come back." Dean sobbed.

He pulled himself up and staggered over to the bed.

"Please Castiel." Dean begged.

He sat down on the bed, resting his head in his hands. Before he realised what he was doing, he was praying to Cas.

"Castiel I pray…please don't be dead."

Sat on his own Cas heard a voice. The only voice he cared about. It was Dean. Dean was begging him to be alive. A single tear rolled its way down his cheek. He badly wanted to comfort Dean, to tell him he was alive, but there was nothing he could do.

Castiel soon realised that Dean was praying to him every night. At first it was hard and Cas pleaded for it to stop. Every time the same thing.

"Please don't be dead."

Then one day it changed.

Dean looked out of the window. Night was falling. He turned to start his normal prayer but then he had a different idea.

"Cas… I don't know if you're alive but… I hope you can hear me. You know, I was just thinking. I was thinking about a time when everything was so simple. I think I told you this before…but I want to tell you again. This one night I took Sammy out in the Impala. We were only kids. I took him to this empty field and we let of all these fireworks. It was beautiful you know. The sky lit up a hundred different colours. If you ever come back…no…when you come back. I'm taking you to that field. I want you to see how pretty fireworks are. Or maybe you have seen them before? Anyway I'm off to bed. Stay safe ok?"

Cas smiled. He was in the worse place imaginable and he just _smiled_! Every day Castiel got to hear these little stories. It was the only thing that kept him going.

"Do you want to know something interesting Cas? My mum used to tell me every night that angels were watching over me. I believed her. Then she died and I guess I lost hope. Then you rescued me. It took time but…I believe again. She was right, well almost. There are no angels watching over me. Only one. You. My own guardian angel. So thank you Cas. Thank you for everything. Just do me one last thing ok? Come back."

"Hey Cas. I couldn't think of an interesting story to tell you today. I thought I would tell you about my day instead. I met an old friend in a bar. You never got to meet him, but his name is Kevin. Nice guy. When you get back I should introduce you to him! We had a few drinks, shared some hunting tips and stories, the normal stuff really. Then he told me I should get help and that I don't look well. I said I was fine. I lied. I miss you Cas. I miss you and it hurts. So please come back soon."

"Hey Cas. I got help today. It was just to shut everyone up. Of course I didn't tell her everything. She said I should stop praying to you and not to worry. She told me you were in 'a better place'. She's wrong. I'm sure wherever you are… never mind. Don't worry ok. I'm never going to stop praying to you. Never. Look after yourself buddy."

"I never told you. I wish I had."

Castiel titled his head in interest. Dean had been telling him everything over the pass months. What was there that he had possibly missed?

"I…I love you Cas. That's why I can't let go. That's why I have to find you. If you can't come back to me then I'm coming to you. Keep a look out for me alright!"

"I prayed to you Cas! I prayed to you every night!" Dean snapped.

"I know."

"You know…"

"Thank you Dean."

Dean's mouth hung open. He didn't know what to say. Had Cas heard everything?

"I love you to Dean."


End file.
